Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 70- Teodora
It’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-10-sentence snippets from their WIPs on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.
Even though torturing Kendryk is fun, Teodora sometimes makes time to indulge her soft (ish) side. General Demario Barela has just returned to her after mopping up what’s left of Kendryk’s forces. She’s been having an affair with the general for a while, but he reminds her that he’s on loan from her cousin, the queen of Maladena. Edited to fit.
“Queen Beatryz might call me back at any time,” Demario said with a shrug.
“I don’t think I could bear it,” Teodora burst out before she could stop herself.
“You can; you are the strongest person I know.” He sat down next to her, then took her hand. “But you needn’t be strong tonight,” he said, kissing her palm.
Teodora felt herself going soft inside, but yanked her hand away before it got worse. “I always have to be strong, especially with you,” she snapped, standing and pacing to the far side of the room.
He stood as well, but didn’t follow her. “You don’t, my love,” he said, his voice soft. “But I understand if you don’t believe me; perhaps it will be better if I showed you.”
Previous snippets are here.
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He’s a strong — and brave man. I wonder, though, if she will continue to tolerate his being strong around her.
Yes, he goes where other brave men fear to tread. She’ll tolerate it . .. for now.
I agree with Ed., Christina. I am sure Teosora does not enjoy being vulnerable to anyone!
Sorry, the keyboard gremlins turned my d in Teodora into an s after I hit publish!
First time doing Weekend Writing Warriors, just popping in to see what’s here! I liked the piece. For someone who hasn’t followed these characters, in just 10 sentences you established who they were. I liked how Teadora was resistant to comfort, to being vulnerable and cared for. I could almost picture her whipping around at one point and getting angry that she doesn’t need his comfort, why would she ever need it. And your male seemed like her soft spot, a good man. I enjoyed this piece!
Thanks so much! Teodora hates being vulnerable, and he really is a good guy- much too good for her, as it turns out. Thanks for stopping by!
I love the emotion here. I can feel it from both of them. 🙂
Wonderful characterization and interaction, Christina. Nice job!
Great tension between them! I like seeing this softer side to her but I am betting she doesn’t appreciate showing it! How far is he willing to push her, I wonder? Great snippet.
Thank you! She doesn’t like the way he throws her off balance, but she can’t stay away either.
He might get his head bitten off if he’s not careful. There’s some tension bubbling under Teodora’s skin.
Yes, she needs to be handled carefully!
Crisp and succinct excerpt, yet emotional – kudos, Christina! 🙂
Thank you!
A clash of man against woman. Wonderful scene. She’s the perfect bitch.
Yes she is!
Showing is always better than telling! Looking forward to seeing what he shows her and how she reacts.
Oh, Demario… *sighs dreamily*
Talk about playing with fire! He’s in deep denial if he thinks he can survive this relationship in one piece. I love this view of Teodora as almost human.
Yeah, he’s bitten off more than he can chew, the poor guy. Well she is in fact human. Technically. 😀
You write such incredibly complex characters, Christina. Oy! I want to hate Teodora, but then you show us a glimpse of her soft side. Dagnabbit, she’s human, after all…
It’s tempting to write her as purely evil, but even really bad people have their soft spots.
Interesting and realistic dynamic between these two.
He’s smooth and confident all right. Methinks he’d better be careful…excellent excerpt!
Thank you! She’s a dangerous person to get close to.
I am not very familiar with the characters, but I love the dialogue between these two. She almost let her guard down for him, but recoiled just in time. I wonder if he will show her his soft side.
I can feel how torn she is between needing to be strong and wanting to be soft. Great dilemma here. I’m ready for more. 🙂
Still don’t like her–but I can see how it’d be difficult to have to be strong all the time. And, I’m guessing, never really let down your guard, because someone might betray you.
She has a soft side! Still, I don’t think she’s a person to cross.