Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 36- Kendryk
It’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-sentence snippets from their WIPs on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.
As promised in prior negotiations, Kendryk meets with Teodora near the trial’s end to decide if Father Landrus will be allowed to speak in his own defense. They go for a semi-private ride in the woods. After a lot of arguing, Teodora finally makes an offer: Landrus may speak if Kendryk will provide her with 20,000 troops to help her put down the rebel Andor Korma, who is threatening her capital, Atlona. This is an illegal request (for lengthy reasons I won’t go into here) and Kendryk turns her down flat. Naturally, Teodora doesn’t take it well.
She looked straight at him and he forced himself to meet her gaze, aware of the color creeping up his face. Sweat soaked his shirt under the mail.
“I will be very clear, and I want you to remember what I say.”
Kendryk was conscious of his guard drawing closer, and felt comforted, though not enough.
“When this trial is over, and your darling priest a mere bit of crispy meat on that stake, I shall return to Atlona and defeat Andor Korma. I will have the Zastwar treaty renewed and my armies recalled from their border. Then I will take back what my weak ancestors gave away too freely. I will start with you and your ridiculous charter.”
Previous snippets are here.
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Yeah… I was shakin’ in my shoes when I read THAT part! You have a way with those STRONG women, don’t ya. Maybe that’s why Janna bugs you, ’cause you tried to make her a bit different than that.
I’ve already decided I need to beef Janna up somehow, I just have no idea how to do it. Mean girls are just so much more fun to write!
Ooh! Hell hath no fury… Excellent piece Christina.
Thanks!
Okay, it’s been a while so after reading this snippet I had no idea what was going on XD I went back and read the previous 4-5 snippets and feel like I kind of get it. Is Teodora a protagonist or antagonist? She seems fairly arrogant and mean, which are traits associated more so with an antagonist, but I wasn’t sure. You do a great job with dialogue. It’s one of my weaker points to be honest. Lucky for Kendryk she couldn’t see him sweat, although his beet-red face probably gave away his feelings!
Teodora is pretty much the antagonist, though I like to think she isn’t purely evil, just . . . misguided.and a wee bit termperamental. Yes, poor Kendryk suffers from fair skin, so the beet-red face will give him away. 🙂
Nice to see you around again.
Nice lady, Teodora, Easygoing, know what i meant?
Yeah, she’s a real sweetheart. 🙂
Yikes! Great job conveying menace through dialogue, Christina, very well written!
Thanks!
You’re an excellent writer of Very Bad People, Chrstina. 🙂
Please tell me Teddy is going to be thwarted. It would be good for her.
Why thank you! I think? I do enjoy writing people who are SO VERY MUCH NOT LIKE ME IS THAT CLEAR?! OMG!. 🙂
Ooh, I love calling her Teddy. That will really make her mad. She and Kendryk will alternate thwarting each other for a while.
Yikes, this is not someone I want to cross. That’s quite the threat. Great work! 😀
Yes, it’s best to steer clear, if possible. 🙂
OMG, I haven’t ate breakfast yet, and I suddenly have the urge for steak!!! Great eight, love the suspense.
Hahaha! Maybe you are evil too? 🙂
Great imagery Christina!! Loving this story!
Thanks, Sara!
I get the feeling that even if he’d given her what she wanted, it might not have helped. After all, with 20,000 troops away, he’d be an easy target…
Exactly. She is not trustworthy in any way.
Love it. The claws are out and I’m sure no one doubts she will carry through on her threat. Poor Kendryk.
Yes, making threats and carrying them out are her favorite hobbies!
Teodora is definitely an antagonist and clearly lacks heart. Great job with this snippet!
Thank you!
Yikes! You make me very glad I’m not in Kendryk’s shoes, which is a very good thing. 🙂
Glad you got that feeling.
Fascinating. The wretched woman will have his uh, shorts before this is finished or maybe not. Scary wench, isn’t she? Drunk with power.
Yes, anyone contradicting her in any way makes her crazy. And she’s already crazy to begin with!
Freaaaak. Someone means bid-ness.
One tough woman!
Fantastic dialogue! A badass antagonist makes the plot so much more intriguing. 😉
She’s so confident and overweening that I really hope she loses! Excellent excerpt, quite the conversation. And poor Father Landrus caught up in all the politics around his trial.
Yes, she really needs someone to put her in her place. And Father Landrus did pick a bad time to start all this.
I don’t think wisdom is driving her actions and that’s gonna cost her. And she’ll deserve it. Very interesting antagonist.
She’s no dummy and very hard-working, but her arrogance and awful temper sometimes drive her to make bad decisions, and lots of enemies. She’s a lot of fun to write!
Ouch! I don’t know if he’s scared, but I sure am!! Poor Father Landrus. She has him burned at the stake already. Oh my…
Intense snippet, Christina! Fantastic! 🙂
Thanks Teresa!
Oooh! Throw down.
Wow! Talk about a rock and a hard place! Great 8.
Mean girls are more fun to write! I love the sweat under the mail. Nice detail.