Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 35- Braeden
It’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-sentence snippets from their WIPs on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.
As Father Landrus’s trial continues, the local population becomes increasingly hostile toward the Empress Teodora, heckling her whenever she appears in public. As her head of security, Braeden suggests she travel to and from the trial anonymously. Teodora disagrees. Creative editing and punctuation has occurred.
“What’s the point of being empress when you can’t let people see that you are?”
“I don’t know, Your Highness.”
“I wasn’t expecting an answer- you really are quite dense, aren’t you?” Teodora snapped.
“Sometimes, Your Highness.”
“Don’t take that tone with me, Terris. Your Prince Novitny isn’t here to help you should I decide you need to disappear.“
Braeden missed the prince and his other comrades- it wasn’t right they’d been split up like this.
“Oh gods, don’t look so sad; I don’t plan to kill you, at least not right now.”
Previous snippets are here.
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She’s such a cheeky little drama queen, isn’t she!
I do enjoy her, but only because she’s fictional and I don’t actually have to hang out with her!
Yep, she’s someone you wouldn’t want to get on her bad side! Bossy broad…
Nice dialogue, Christina. Snappy, back-and-forth passages like this work well as 8-sentence snippets. One of the ‘readerly questions’ this raises in my mind is “does he really have no thoughts about what an empress should be and do, or is he just being politic?”
Thanks! I write so much dialogue, there’s always a lot to choose from. 🙂
That’s a very good question. Braeden’s has little to no interest in what the empress does- there’s an earlier passage in which he observes her everyday life and thinks ruling looks like a huge, boring hassle and he’s glad he doesn’t have to be involved in that stuff.
What a meanie! Interesting character development: Braeden is more affected by missing his Prince than the threat of his destruction. Excellent eight. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks! Yes, Braeden has been a soldier for so long, he’s pretty blase about his personal safety, but his buddies are really important to him. 🙂
Great dialogue (as usual :P). Her animosity is quiet shocking, and I definitely wouldn’t want to make an enemy– or ally– out of her. Yikes!
Thanks! Yes, most people who can, just try to steer clear.
Love the back and forth, Christina, this is great stuff!
Ha! Love how spunky she is! Awesome dialogue, Christina. Kudos to you!
Thank you! I do have a lot of fun with this character.
A “ballsy” queen she is. Poor Braeden! Great job with this snippet!
Yeah, he’d love to be anywhere else.
Dialogue made me laugh. Two opposites traveling together. You nailed it!
Thanks! These two are like oil and water, which make them a lot of fun to write.
I’m sorry, but I’m really starting to like Teadora. She’s an excellent villain. No wonder Braeden is pining for his buddies.
Oh good, I’m glad you like her. I enjoy her quite a bit myself. 🙂
Oh, love the snappy dialogue exchange! It reminds me of Queen Cersei from Game of Thrones (big fan here). Nicely done! 😉
Oh, I love Game of Thrones! And Cersei was kind of an inspiration for this character. I really love to hate her. 🙂
Conceded much, isn’t she?
I liked the tension. She’s wiry, that one.
Will someone please put this woman out of everyone else’s misery? o-O
(Except not too quickly—I love to hate her!)
Well, she IS making a lot of enemies. I think she’s fun to hate too, so I’ll keep her around for a bit. 🙂 She’ll make everyone miserable before this saga is done.
This story is always so much fun to be able to continue reading! I quite like the empress because she’s so annoying 🙂 Excellent excerpt…
I Just tried to imagine how someone might behave when there’s no one around who can tell them to cut it out. And also, she’s not too interested in being a nice person. 🙂
She’s quite something, isn’t she? She’s exactly the type of personality I can’t put up with.
I know- I’d flee the country rather than hang out with her for five minutes.