Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 89- Teodora

weekend writing warriorsIt’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-10-sentence snippets from their WIPs on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.

While Braeden and Elektra plot against her, Teodora is having other problems. In order to extort more money from the defeated King Arryk, she’s thrown her hostage, Arryk’s (and Gwynneth’s) little brother Aksel into the Arnfels dungeon. To her surprise, her youngest daughter Zofya, comes to plead for his release, professing her love for him (she’s about fourteen). Teodora wonders how Zofya and Aksel got to know each other, since she never has any idea what her kids are up to. Somewhat edited and horrendously punctuated.

“Mother Hela, my scientific instructor, says I’m particularly good at experimentation, and Aksel is of course a brilliant scientist,” Zofya said.. “I’ve spent hours in the school laboratory with him, and we’ve invented a—”

“You’ve what?” Teodora nearly came out of her chair. “You’ve been spending time alone with Aksel Roussay?”

Zofya had the good sense to look mildly alarmed, then said, “Mother Hela and the other students are always there, but Aksel and I have become good friends; he says I’m nearly as clever as his sister, and everyone knows she’s—”

“Stop that,” Teodora snapped. “You cannot trust him, and you will never see him again, even if that means I have to keep him in the Arnfels for the rest of his life.”

Zofya’s lip trembled as she said, “But you must let him go, Mother; we’ve nearly finished a device which could—”

“I don’t care about your stupid device,” Teodora screamed, unwilling to believe this was happening..

Previous snippets are here.

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41 comments on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 89- Teodora
  1. Author Jessica E. Subject says:

    Oh my gosh! Not a fan of Teodora with that excerpt. I want to know what they’ve built. Intriguing excerpt! 🙂

  2. calensariel says:

    I quite like Aksel. I think he’s one of my favorite characters! 😀

  3. Kim Magennis says:

    But what is it they are inventing? I am dying to know, Christina!

  4. Ooh, very intriguing! What kind of device is this?

  5. Gem says:

    One can only hope that the device is something fantastic that Teodora will never get her hands on because she’s mean and has a big mouth. Love this. 😀

  6. nancygideon says:

    Love this, Christina. Great dialog. I’m hooked.

  7. Love this snippet. Dying to learn what they invented. Good little Zofiya to plead on behalf of Aksel, but it sounds as though it has got her in trouble.

  8. I really enjoyed this part. Teodora’s head was spinning for quite a while in this story, and it was great to see her knocked off balance!

    Marcia

  9. Alexis Duran says:

    I can sympathize with Zofya, I have a little crush on Aksel too.

  10. Jenna Jaxon says:

    Teodora’s a fool not to hear what the device is. Knowledge is always a good thing. Bet it’s going to bite her in the butt in the end.

  11. Oh boy! This doesn’t look good. Great snippet, Christina!

  12. Good one! What on earth have they invented?

  13. I like Zofya’s courage, even if this discussion isn’t going too well. Thee device is certainly intriguing! Great snippet.

  14. chellecordero says:

    I have a feeling that Zofya is going to be a formidable opponent.

  15. I love that Zofya looked “mildly alarmed.” LOL! She’s got some steel in her spine if Teodora doesn’t scare her.

  16. Ed Hoornaert says:

    At 14, the girl’s love life is already given mom ulcers. Wait a few years; it’ll get worse.

  17. She’s definitely not willing to listen. That’s not usually a good idea–who knows how useful this device could be?

  18. Theodora needs an attitude adjustment. Can they invent a device for that? Good snippet.

  19. That was unpleasant. I don’t like Theodora much.

  20. Oh, that mother is just shoving the daughter toward trouble! Unwise.

  21. I’m with Elizabeth– Teodora needs an attitude adjustment ASAP! You’d think she’d have gotten one after the events of the last book, but… *sighs* I really do loathe her. By which I mean, wow, you wrote an amazing villainess. 😉

  22. Fallon says:

    Yeah, definitely not liking Teodora. Great snippet

  23. Aldrea Alien says:

    Ooo, what’s the bet that Teodora will definitely end up caring about the device? Good snippet.

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