Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 84- Anton

weekend writing warriorsIt’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-10-sentence snippets from their WIPs on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.

At the end of Valley of the Shadow, Count Arian Orland was in pretty bad shape after being attacked by Teodora’s minions. Anton is staying with him while he recovers. They’re currently living in Natalya’s palace, which makes Anton antsy, because she forces him to go to school instead of fighting in battles. Such a drag! Anton comes home from school every day and goes straight to dealing with a depressed, cranky count. Somewhat creatively punctuated.

It was dark in the count’s room, the curtains drawn at the windows and around the big bed. “I’m here,” Anton shouted by way of warning, then threw open the curtains at the window. He opened one of them wide, since it was hot and didn’t smell too good. Then he went to the bed and pulled those curtains open as well.

“Go away,” the count grumbled into this pillow.

“You know I won’t,” Anton said, trying to sound cheerful, though he was sick of doing this every day. “It’s time for you to get up, have a wash, and walk around a little.”

“I don’t want to today,” the count said, opening his one eye, then closing it against the bright light.

“I know,” Anton said, pouring some water into a cup from a pitcher on the table. “Doesn’t matter; you have to- otherwise you’ll be here forever, and I would hate that.”

Previous snippets are here.

 

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50 comments on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 84- Anton
  1. Ed Hoornaert says:

    Don’t you just hate it when someone insists you get out of bed when you aren’t ready? 😉

  2. Haha! Well, he sure has motivation to get him up and moving–that last sentence says it all. 🙂 Nicely done, Christina!!

  3. Cara Bristol says:

    Anton seems very mature, doing his best to take care of the count.

  4. Fallon says:

    I like this interaction between them. Anton seems motivated enough for the both of them.

  5. daezarkian says:

    I imagine trying to motivate a noble to get out of bed wouldn’t be an envious task. ;D Great snippet, Christina!

  6. Oh so good and natural. Typical of your writing.

  7. danijace says:

    Hard to motivate those who have set their world to the walls surrounding them. Sometimes that can be me on the weekends! 🙂

  8. Well, Arian’s got a reason for being cranky, and it sounds just like him to wallow in self-pity for a while. But I’m betting he bounces back with Anton’s help. I think Arian’s ultimately too much of a “doer” to stay down for good.

    Marcia

  9. Anton has guts to stay cheerful, but he is correct!

  10. Botanist says:

    Who’s the child and who’s the grown up here? Nice bit of role reversal. I can hear the petulance in the count’s voice 🙂

  11. Glad Anton wasn’t here yesterday – I super overslept so I feel for the count – ugh.
    Tweeted.

  12. Daryl Devore says:

    Well, that’s one way to get a grumpy count out of bed 🙂 Tweeted.

  13. What a great snippet…love how you set the scene with the smell of the room as well as his reaction to being awakened. Time for a wash, count. Or maybe he should drag a hose in …LOL

  14. It’s very draining to deal with a depressed, cranky patient, so I feel for him. I hope he cheer up and gets out of bed, for Anton’s sake as much as his own. Great snippet.

  15. I want to say good for Anton, but he’s also doing all this to benefit himself too, so they don’t have to stay there forever! I enjoyed all the issues at play in this snippet…

  16. T. M. Hunter says:

    Pretty sure I’ve had this very same conversation with my wife…good stuff.

  17. You really use all the senses to show this scene. Great job! I wouldn’t want to be in Anton’s place.

  18. Love the one eye open…been there a time or two! Great snippet!

  19. chellecordero says:

    Oh my, “otherwise you’ll be here forever”, some days I just feel like that. Terrific visuals.

  20. Elaine Cantrell says:

    I don’t blame the count. I don’t like to get up either.

  21. Jenna Jaxon says:

    I’m sure Anton is thinking “The sooner you’re better, the sooner I don’t have to do this any more!” I hope the count recovers, for his sake as much as Anton’s.

  22. Sounds like someone is just a few moments from being dragged out of bed by their feet. 😀

  23. This is why I love Anton and his relationship with Orland. Also, I’m picturing what Caitlin said, and it’s hilarious! 😀

  24. nancygideon says:

    Very visual scene. Great and telling last line! Nice job, Christina!

  25. Gem says:

    His persistent cheerfulness in the morning might get Anton clubbed upside the head. 😀

  26. You’ve got me asking questions for sure. I want more!

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