Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 60- Braeden

weekend writing warriorsIt’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-10-sentence snippets from their WIPs on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.

Braeden has now rejoined Teodora as she gets ready to take her capital back. She’s received help from her cousin, the Queen of Maladena in the form of one of her best generals- Demario Barela- and his army. Braeden is showing the newcomer the ropes while he ogles Teodora. Slightly edited to make sense in 10.

“Still, it pleases me that our beautiful empress is so interested in what we do,” Barela said, casting an admiring glance at Teodora, lightly armored and riding nearby on a white palfrey.

“That’s because you don’t know her,” Braeden said.

Barela laughed, then said, “Ah, you don’t like her. I understand. She is a challenging woman. Not always pleasant to be around. But, I like challenging women, and very few are as lovely as she.”

He looked her way again, long enough to make Teodora look back. She gave him that intense stare she had, but he didn’t flinch and instead smiled that broad, charming smile of his that engulfed his whole face.

Braeden wondered if the man knew what he was doing.

Previous snippets are here.

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24 comments on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 60- Braeden
  1. Whitney says:

    Love this. Based on this snippet, Barela seems like he enjoys playing dumb to get what he wants. 😉

  2. Ed Hoornaert says:

    The man is playing with fire, apparently.

  3. Kim M says:

    Hmmm. Love this development! Teodora in a relationship would either be short work or a regular battle… I wonder how tough Barela is?

  4. As always a very visual and ultimately great scene. I would maybe cut the second of the challenging statements. Maybe, “but I like that about her” instead?? I think that will make it sound a little more powerful.

  5. daezarkian says:

    Terrific snippet. I love this line: “smiled that broad, charming smile of his that engulfed his whole face.” Not only a great physical description, it says a lot about his character. Love it!

  6. Cara Bristol says:

    Loved the way you described him: he didn’t flinch and instead smiled that broad, charming smile of his that engulfed his whole face.

  7. Terrific snippet and a most interesting turn of events.

  8. Oh, he really has no idea what he’s doing. “Challenging” is a polite way to describe Theodora. 😉

  9. Frank Fisher says:

    I like the misunderstanding between Barela and Braedan. To describe Theodora as challenging is obviously his way of being polite. Great snippet!

  10. Alexis Duran says:

    Challenging like a black widow spider! Good luck with that, Barela.

  11. There’s challenging and then there’s suicidal. Only time will tell which one his flirting is!

  12. chellecordero says:

    Wonder if he succeeded in throwing her a curve-ball with that smile?

  13. I think General Barela thinks he knows what he’s doing anyway…wonder if that’s how he got to be one of Queen Maladena’s favorite generals LOL? I like the new twist with Barela on the scene – great snippet.

  14. Things are about to get – um – interesting – complicated 🙂

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