Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 151- Natalya

It’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-10-sentence snippets from their WIPs on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.

Hope all of you had great holidays! We had a quiet and relaxing Christmas at home, then spent New Year’s with my parents. So only a little driving, and even less snow. A very nice change from years past.

On with the snippet! A few weeks back, Natalya arrived at the palace of the treacherous Princess Viviane, intent on taking her out of the game. She’s just made it clear that with Teodora a prisoner, Viviane has no allies, since after murdering Kendryk, no other ruler will go anywhere near her. Atrociously punctuated to fit.

“If I were you, I’d look to your defenses,” Natalya said, “Princess Maryna retains the Estenorian army and with Teodora no longer a threat, she might seek to avenge her father’s death.” Now Natalya made no pretense at friendliness, letting her anger leak into her words.

Princess Viviane fiddled with the lace on her sleeve. “I’ve heard the young princess studied with you during her stay in Allaux; do you suppose she’d take your advice?”

“I expect she will, since she’s already written to me numerous times, asking for my counsel on various matters.” Natalya leaned back against the cushions, feeling a bit safer; clearly she’d frightened Viviane as she had hoped.

“Then, perhaps you could advise her to discuss matters with me, rather than attacking my kingdom?”

“Perhaps,” Natalya said, allowing a smile, “I doubt she’ll want to talk to you, but might be persuaded to stay peaceful by a gesture of good will.”

“A bribe, you mean,” the princess looked angry, no doubt thinking of the bill.

“Compensation is what I’d call it,” Natalya kept her tone light, “Of course, it’s impossible to make right the loss of a beloved parent, but you can try.”

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21 comments on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 151- Natalya
  1. Lyn Perry says:

    Good dialogue, and descriptive. Enjoying the story so far.

  2. daryldevore says:

    Great line – “Then, perhaps you could advise her to discuss matters with me, rather than attacking my kingdom?” 🙂

  3. The relationships are always so complex in your stories, and with no clear ‘best’ answers sometimes, just like in real life. Great snippet!

  4. Fallon says:

    Yeah I can’t think of a payment that would make that better.

  5. Diane Burton says:

    Love the description of a bribe as compensation. LOL The dialogue reveals a lot. Good job.

  6. Alexis Duran says:

    I love how your “polite” conversations always reveal so much tension and political maneuvering.

  7. Jenna Jaxon says:

    Viviane had better watch her back. In revenge for the killing of a parent, I’d say all bets were off. Maryna might try some treachery of her own, without the benefit of scruples. Great snippet!

  8. Botanist says:

    Sounds like Natalya holds all the trump cards here … and is rather enjoying it!

  9. Ed Hoornaert says:

    Are we about to learn the going price for one parent’s corpse? Intriguing snippet.

  10. a lot of snide digs hidden under polite words!

  11. elainecsc2013 says:

    Lots of great dialogue. They’re polite on the surface, but lots going on underneath.

  12. Karen Michelle Nutt says:

    Great banter and Intriguing.

  13. Lots of subtext here, as others have commented. Makes me wonder what Viviane is thinking–I doubt it’s complimentary!

  14. aldreaalien says:

    Well, someone definitely has the upper hand. Love it.

  15. Hywela Lyn says:

    So much unsaid in this dialogue, great snippet!

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