Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 125- Trystan
It’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-10-sentence snippets from their WIPs on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.
Fall of the Titan is off to beta readers! In the meantime, I’m starting another series and have spent most of the week doing research. Hopefully I can start writing soon.
When we last checked in on Trystan, Natalya Maxima told him she might not need him to take her all the way back to her home. But after hearing of trouble in the Galladian capital, she decided it was safer to ditch the military escort while she and Trystan continue on, disguised as a common priest and priestess on a pilgrimage. They stop at a temple to get Trystan into his disguise. Since he has a serious crush on Natalya, he’s thrilled at getting the chance to travel alone with her, but looking like a priest doesn’t come naturally.Mother Celeste is the priestess in charge there. Creatively punctuated.
by“He doesn’t look very clerical, does he?” Natalya looked Trystan over carefully, but not quite in the way he wanted her to; he worried she might start laughing.
Mother Celeste, standing beside her, had been chuckling all along.
Trystan scowled, hoping his face wasn’t too red, “Not every priest has to look clerical. Besides, shouldn’t a Kronland priest look different anyway?” They had decided his Galladian was too accented to pretend to be anything but a foreigner.
“It’ll have to do,” Natalya raised her eyebrows, apparently stifling a laugh, “you just … oh, I don’t know; you still look like a soldier.”
“I am a soldier,” Trystan loved seeing Natalya laugh, but not at his expense, “why can’t I be a soldier turned priest?”
“Why not indeed?” Mother Celeste smiled, her eyes understanding. Was he that transparent?
His military bearing shines through, it seems.
It’s really the only identity he knows.
Poor Trystan. I do hope Natalya soon realizes his feelings for her, whether she shares them or not.
She suspects, but isn’t doing a very good job of letting him down easy. 🙂
Loved: Natalya looked Trystan over carefully, but not quite in the way he wanted her to & Trystan loved seeing Natalya laugh, but not at his expense
Great snippet.
Thank you! He definitely has a specific way her wants her to feel about him.
I think I’m really going to love this plot line! 😀
I hope so. I had a blast writing it. Somehow I always seem to have the most fun with the new POV characters.
Sometimes, transparent works. Excellent dialogue, Christina.
It just might work for him, eventually.
He’s got to work on that disguise haha. As you stated, looking like a priest definitely seems not to come naturally to Trystan. Perhaps it has something to do with that military background? Nice piece!
Thank you! He’s naturally a soldier, but very much not naturally a priest, or an actor. 🙂
I agree with Ed. Military bearing stays with you always.
Trystan is barely out of his teens, but he’s been a soldier long enough that it’s already very much part of him.
He clearly doesn’t want to seem foolish to the woman he is attracted to, but needs must. Will his disguise pass the test I wonder.
He’s thrilled that he gets to spend all this time with her, but he has to pay a price!
Some soldiers do become priests and there have been times when a man could be both.
I had to smile at the picture you painted of a military man trying to appear as a humble priest. Great imagery here.
These three characters all feel very real and believable to me (and I have a lot of sympathy for poor Trystan!)…excellent excerpt.
Thank you!
So we know that a robe does not a priest make. 😀 At least not this soldier.
I’m thinking she’ll prefer the warrior to the priest by the time they get where they’re going. Nice clip, Christina.
Great snippet. All three characters seem so vivid. Mother Celeste knows which way the wind blows with Tristan. Too bad Natalya doesn’t.
Disguised, slipping through without the military. Good plan, and rife with possibilities. I do hope this story doesn’t go all GRRM on us… oh–the peril for Trystan if it does. 🙂
Only a little GRRM. 😉
It’s hard to disguise a military demeanor.
Gah, love these books so much! Can’t wait for the next one!
Poor Trystan! It seems Natalya already has a hard time seeing him for who he is really is since she’s not looking him over “in the way he wanted her to.”
Awww, poor Trystan! You can really sense his frustration at Natalya not seeing him like he wants to. Great snippet!
Hey, at least they’re not dressing him up as a woman or something. He can probably cope.
He’ll be okay as long as he doesn’t have to lead a service.