Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 125- Trystan

It’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-10-sentence snippets from their WIPs on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.

Fall of the Titan is off to beta readers! In the meantime, I’m starting another series and have spent most of the week doing research. Hopefully I can start writing soon.

When we last checked in on Trystan, Natalya Maxima told him she might not need him to take her all the way back to her home. But after hearing of trouble in the Galladian capital, she decided it was safer to ditch the military escort while she and Trystan continue on, disguised as a common priest and priestess on a pilgrimage. They stop at a temple to get Trystan into his disguise. Since he has a serious crush on Natalya, he’s thrilled at getting the chance to travel alone with her, but looking like a priest doesn’t come naturally.Mother Celeste is the priestess in charge there. Creatively punctuated.

“He doesn’t look very clerical, does he?” Natalya looked Trystan over carefully, but not quite in the way he wanted her to; he worried she might start laughing.

Mother Celeste, standing beside her, had been chuckling all along.

Trystan scowled, hoping his face wasn’t too red, “Not every priest has to look clerical. Besides, shouldn’t a Kronland priest look different anyway?” They had decided his Galladian was too accented to pretend to be anything but a foreigner.

“It’ll have to do,” Natalya raised her eyebrows, apparently stifling a laugh, “you just … oh, I don’t know; you still look like a soldier.”

“I am a soldier,” Trystan loved seeing Natalya laugh, but not at his expense, “why can’t I be a soldier turned priest?”

“Why not indeed?” Mother Celeste smiled, her eyes understanding. Was he that transparent?

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31 comments on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 125- Trystan
  1. Ed Hoornaert says:

    His military bearing shines through, it seems.

  2. Author Jessica E. Subject says:

    Poor Trystan. I do hope Natalya soon realizes his feelings for her, whether she shares them or not.

  3. Fallon says:

    Loved: Natalya looked Trystan over carefully, but not quite in the way he wanted her to & Trystan loved seeing Natalya laugh, but not at his expense

    Great snippet.

  4. calensariel says:

    I think I’m really going to love this plot line! 😀

  5. Kim Magennis says:

    Sometimes, transparent works. Excellent dialogue, Christina.

  6. jakerose says:

    He’s got to work on that disguise haha. As you stated, looking like a priest definitely seems not to come naturally to Trystan. Perhaps it has something to do with that military background? Nice piece!

  7. I agree with Ed. Military bearing stays with you always.

  8. He clearly doesn’t want to seem foolish to the woman he is attracted to, but needs must. Will his disguise pass the test I wonder.

  9. Some soldiers do become priests and there have been times when a man could be both.

  10. Karen Michelle Nutt says:

    I had to smile at the picture you painted of a military man trying to appear as a humble priest. Great imagery here.

  11. These three characters all feel very real and believable to me (and I have a lot of sympathy for poor Trystan!)…excellent excerpt.

  12. Gem Sivad says:

    So we know that a robe does not a priest make. 😀 At least not this soldier.

  13. nancygideon says:

    I’m thinking she’ll prefer the warrior to the priest by the time they get where they’re going. Nice clip, Christina.

  14. Diane Burton says:

    Great snippet. All three characters seem so vivid. Mother Celeste knows which way the wind blows with Tristan. Too bad Natalya doesn’t.

  15. Disguised, slipping through without the military. Good plan, and rife with possibilities. I do hope this story doesn’t go all GRRM on us… oh–the peril for Trystan if it does. 🙂

  16. It’s hard to disguise a military demeanor.

  17. Gah, love these books so much! Can’t wait for the next one!

  18. Ashley York says:

    Poor Trystan! It seems Natalya already has a hard time seeing him for who he is really is since she’s not looking him over “in the way he wanted her to.”

  19. Awww, poor Trystan! You can really sense his frustration at Natalya not seeing him like he wants to. Great snippet!

  20. Hey, at least they’re not dressing him up as a woman or something. He can probably cope.

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