Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 94- Braeden
It’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-10-sentence snippets from their WIPs on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.
From Hammer of the Gods. This’ll be the last Braeden bit for a while, so he can get a chance to recover. After being shot in the shoulder and losing consciousness, he wakes up in a hospital tent in the camp of Duke Trystan Martinek, Kendryk’s last remaining ally. Braden’s just woken up and is meeting the duke who rescued him. Slightly edited from the published version. Braeden asks:
“How did you know to look for me?”
“It was the strangest thing,” Martinek said, regarded Braeden with a piercing gaze. “A slip of a girl, riding as though she had demons on her back, came flying into our camp, practically bowling over the pickets. An ensign in Mattila’s cavalry, bearing a white flag.”
Braeden’s mouth dried up as he asked, “Dark hair, dark eyes?”
“Yes, and rather pretty, if you like ‘em skinny and fierce; which I do.”
“Trisa Torresia,” Braeden said, “of the Sanova Hussars. I can’t believe—” he fell back against the pillows, nausea rising again.
“Old friends?” Martinek asked, grinning.
Trisa’s only fifteen, and Braeden’s best friend’s daughter, so he’s a little annoyed she was sent on such a dangerous mission. And Trystan Martinek is only nineteen himself, so isn’t being creepy by thinking she’s cute.
Previous snippets are here.
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He may be upset she’d been sent on the mission, but if not, he likely wouldn’t be alive. Nice snippet!
Yes, he wishes someone else had been sent, but she was the most enthusiastic volunteer!
Ha, you have a lot of creepy characters, Christina. ;P
That’s just how I roll. ;D
“How did you know to look for me?”
“It was the strangest thing,” Martinek said, regarded Braeden with a piercing gaze. “A slip of a girl, riding as though she had demons on her back, came flying into our camp, practically bowling over the pickets. An ensign in Mattila’s cavalry, bearing a white flag.”
I’m not quite making the connection here. Maybe it’s explained previously or later. Did the girl TELL Martinek Braeden needed help?
I do like Martinek’s description of her.
Yes, it’s explained a bit later, but I couldn’t make it fit. She’s been sent to tell Martinek that Braeden is nearby and needs help.
Braeden’s had some pretty tough things to deal with so I was relieved when this bit turned out as well as it did!
Marcia
Yup, gotta patch him up for the next go-round. 🙂
“Yes, and rather pretty, if you like ‘em skinny and fierce; which I do.”
Absolutely love that line! =D
Great snippet, Christina!
Thanks Steven! Trystan has very specific tastes. 🙂
LOL, I appreciate your explanation at the bottom, not that I found the excerpt creepy to begin with! It was very well-written, as always! Excellent work!
Interesting solution to saving Braeden! Enjoyed the excerpt…
I also appreciated the explanation, it made more sense of Braeden’s reaction. Wonderful dialogue here.
One of the things I love about your books is how young girls are treated the same as boys when it comes to military service- no discrimination. Everyone has an equal chance to die horribly. Yeah Trisa for saving Braeden!
It’s an equal-opportunity society in that respect, and makes writing female characters a lot of fun!
I loved Martinek’s description of Trisa practically bowling over the pickets. Awesome snippet!
I guess they have to start young if they’re going to survive.
The skinny, fierce girl was responsible for him being rescued. So he mustn’t be too annoyed about her being sent on such a dangerous mission. Excellent snippet, as usual, Christina.
He can’t help but feel protective, though he’ll get a chance to thank her.
Nothing wrong with skinny and fierce. 🙂 And hey, maybe she volunteered. Teenagers do tend to have an inflated sense of their own safety.
Yeah, she very much volunteered, being in that invincible phase. 😀
What fun! Very visual with great dialogue!
Thank you!
I’m glad she managed to save him, but charging full tilt with a white flag is NOT the suggested approach to an armed camp. You need to give the soldiers time to notice the flag’s color!
Yes, she’s never practiced coming in peace before. 😀
Loved his description of her! I like your female characters. They are all kick-ass, even the young ones. 🙂 Great snippet!
Yes, I want my girls to have fun too.
What a wonderful description of her. Skinny and furious. Love it.
I’m in book one–just where Braeden has found and rescued, Janna. This snippet really has me wondering what will transpire. lol. Great story, Christina!
A lot happens between then and now, as you might have guessed. 😀
I love all this Braeden-ness. Great writing, as always!
Thank you!
That was one wild ride! Great snippet!
Thank you!
Love the description of her ride. lol He has to be glad she helped, right?
His hero… I like his recognition of her just from the color of her hair and eyes.
He knows her looks and her attitude very well!