Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 93- Braeden

weekend writing warriorsIt’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-10-sentence snippets from their WIPs on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.

From Hammer of the Gods: I thought I’d better continue with Braeden’s story, since he’s in a  lot of trouble right now. After Franca warned him that he was going to be pursued, Braeden took off into the woods with Karil, a boy he’s been traveling with. They evaded, then successfully fought enemy troops while hoping to make the border, where a friendly army is waiting. But now they’ve been caught by Oricians, light cavalry known for being excellent trackers and brutal fighters. Karil’s been shot in the leg, Braeden in the right shoulder, and he thinks this might be the end. Somewhat edited and creatively punctuated from the published version:

Braeden felt bad about Karil, but reckoned this was the perfect way for a fighter to meet his death. Especially against a pack of ferocious Oricians; no shame in that,and far better than facing an executioner. He used his good arm to pull the dagger out of his boot; he’d take one more down with him before the end.

Braeden struggled to his feet, and looked for Karil, who’d dragged himself against a tree and sat there, still holding a sword. Another horseman came toward him, and Braeden stepped in his path. The arm holding the dagger wasn’t as strong as his right, but it was strong enough to catch the saber’s blade with the dagger, dragging it aside, then slashing at the horseman’s leg. It didn’t stop him, but it got him out of the way. “Give me the sword, Karil,” Braeden said, handing him the dagger, and feeling lightheaded for the first time.

“You’re bleeding an awful lot,” Karil said, “I don’t—” Another pistol-shot interrupted him, but this one came from another direction, and the Orician–turning to face Braeden again–toppled out of the saddle.

Previous snippets are here.

 

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35 comments on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 93- Braeden
  1. Author Jessica E. Subject says:

    I like Braeden’s fighting spirit here. I’m also intrigued by the mystery of who shot the horseman. Great snippet!

  2. daezarkian says:

    Great use of detail, and good characterization! A terrific read as always, Christina!

  3. Cara Bristol says:

    Wow. I wonder who shot the guy.

  4. You have a wonderful way of writing, Christina.

  5. Botanist says:

    Aha! Sounds like he’s got some unexpected help. Good twist.

  6. More reminders of why I love Braeden so much. *sighs*

  7. Alexis Duran says:

    Awesome scene. Braeden rocks.

  8. An intense scene! So well described, both the actions and the thoughts…

  9. The Author says:

    Wow! War is always so visceral, and you capture it as a closeup here. Excellent job!

    Heather

  10. Gem says:

    Could that be help arriving? Fingers crossed. 🙂

  11. You do such a great job of writing action infused with emotion. 🙂 I finally started reading Book 1! I’m at only 7%, but fully invested. 🙂

  12. Frank Fisher says:

    So much happening at once here! Great way to up the ante here!

  13. Great scene, Christina. Just when it looked as though his time was up, someone has come to his rescue – at least, I hope so.

  14. Ed Hoornaert says:

    Yay, the cavalry has arrived to save the day. The action here is exciting and very clear. Good job!

  15. chellecordero says:

    Taking it down to the wire, whoever fired that shot sure saved Braeden’s butt

  16. Jenna Jaxon says:

    Powerful and moving action scene! Do I detect the cavalry coming over the hill at the end? I hope so, since they’re both wounded. 🙂 Stirring snippet.

  17. Sounds like a last minute save, so they can live to fight again!

  18. Intense! Great excerpt.

  19. Fallon says:

    Now, I’m wondering who came to the rescue. 🙂

  20. Whew! It wasn’t looking very good for Karil and Braeden until that last sentence. 🙂

  21. Wonderfully written action scene! They were ready to die… But who rescued them?

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