Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 76- Arryk

weekend writing warriorsIt’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-10-sentence snippets from their WIPs on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.

Last week, we joined Anton while he got ready for his first big battle. Not too much later, we find Arryk in the thick of the fight, Larisa at his side. Unlike Anton, it’s Arryk’s first time in combat and it’s not going as well as he’d hoped.  Slightly edited.

Warning: a horse dies, though not graphically. 🙁

His horse veered around the body of a fallen officer. Arryk, caught by surprise, fell off, but rolled onto his shoulder and got back up again. He looked for his horse but it was gone, along with the pistols still holstered in the saddle. Cursing under his breath, he drew his saber, just in time to meet a halberdier who’d come from nowhere. The man wore little armor and went down in a spray of red when Arryk sliced his blade across his neck. He grabbed the halberd, though he didn’t need it and looked around wildly for Larisa.

She was on the ground, on her hands and knees, next to her thrashing horse.

“Oh gods,” Arryk said, certain she’d been hurt.

Larisa got to her feet unsteadily, grabbed a pistol from the saddle and shot the horse, then pulled a flail from somewhere else. Arryk remembered laughing at her when she practiced with it; now as it hissed around her head, he was glad she never listened to him.

Previous snippets are here.

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38 Comments on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 76- Arryk

  1. Too bad for the horse. I’m glad the death wasn’t graphically described. I think tell is better than show in this case. Loved the details leading up to the horse’s demise.

  2. Great scene! I can’t see how adding more details about the horse would make it more effective. I’m sure this is going to be emotional for Arryk, maybe as much as for Larisa.

    ~Marcia

    • Yes, I’m generally not too keen on getting too graphic in my own writing, and I’m especially sensitive to the suffering of animals. In this case it would be unrealistic to gloss over the fates of the thousands of horses that were routinely killed in battle, but I don’t like to dwell on it.

  3. Killing an animal in fiction is a great way to get readers to hate the villain. Works everytime. I learned a new word today: Halberd/halberdier. I had to look it up. Love it. Good action scene.

    • Yes, it is! Unfortunately, Larisa is not a villain, so I hope people don’t hate her too much. I sometimes get carried away with the weapons-porn. Halberds are particularly attractive. 🙂

  4. That’s the problem with taking horses into battle, it’s so easy for them to get hurt beyond saving… 🙁
    But I love those last lines, where he realizes she’s more competent than he thought!

    • Yes, I’ve always hated that about pre-20th century warfare. Arryk really doesn’t know what he’s got with this woman, but he’s gonna learn!

  5. Everybody is sad about the horse, but nobody mentioned the halbedier (?) who had his throat cut, poor chap. A good battle scene – quite tense. Good piece. Now off to Google ‘halbedier’.

    • I’m always a lot more concerned about the animals than the people. It probably isn’t very nice of me, but I figured the poor horses never asked to be there.

  6. Fantastic visual, Christina. Loads of action that never slowed. And–it made me smile. Arryk should be careful what he laughs at; it might come back to save your life someday. 🙂 Good snippet!

  7. Great action scene and great imagery. Felt bad for her horse, but I’m glad she’s tough and ready to fight.

  8. I think having Larissa have to shoot the horse before taking up the flail shows how well she’s adapting to the battle. Much better but harder to put the animal out of its misery than sit and cry. She’s a strong character and this shows that well. Well done!

  9. You handled that scene very well, both the horrors of the fight and the death of the poor horse. Well done.

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