Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 35- Braeden

weekend writing warriorsIt’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-sentence snippets from their WIPs on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.

As Father Landrus’s trial continues, the local population becomes increasingly hostile toward the Empress Teodora, heckling her whenever she appears in public. As her head of security, Braeden suggests she travel to and from the trial anonymously. Teodora disagrees. Creative editing and punctuation has occurred.

“What’s the point of being empress when you can’t let people see that you are?”

“I don’t know, Your Highness.”

“I wasn’t expecting an answer- you really are quite dense, aren’t you?” Teodora snapped.

“Sometimes, Your Highness.”

“Don’t take that tone with me, Terris. Your Prince Novitny isn’t here to help you should I decide you need to disappear.“

Braeden missed the prince and his other comrades-  it wasn’t right they’d been split up like this.

“Oh gods, don’t look so sad; I don’t plan to kill you, at least not right now.”

Previous snippets are here.

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28 comments on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 35- Braeden
  1. calensariel says:

    She’s such a cheeky little drama queen, isn’t she!

  2. Ed Hoornaert says:

    Nice dialogue, Christina. Snappy, back-and-forth passages like this work well as 8-sentence snippets. One of the ‘readerly questions’ this raises in my mind is “does he really have no thoughts about what an empress should be and do, or is he just being politic?”

    • Christina says:

      Thanks! I write so much dialogue, there’s always a lot to choose from. 🙂

      That’s a very good question. Braeden’s has little to no interest in what the empress does- there’s an earlier passage in which he observes her everyday life and thinks ruling looks like a huge, boring hassle and he’s glad he doesn’t have to be involved in that stuff.

  3. Kim Magennis says:

    What a meanie! Interesting character development: Braeden is more affected by missing his Prince than the threat of his destruction. Excellent eight. Thank you for sharing.

  4. Great dialogue (as usual :P). Her animosity is quiet shocking, and I definitely wouldn’t want to make an enemy– or ally– out of her. Yikes!

  5. daezarkian says:

    Love the back and forth, Christina, this is great stuff!

  6. Evelyn Jules says:

    Ha! Love how spunky she is! Awesome dialogue, Christina. Kudos to you!

  7. Frank Fisher says:

    A “ballsy” queen she is. Poor Braeden! Great job with this snippet!

  8. Dialogue made me laugh. Two opposites traveling together. You nailed it!

  9. Alexis Duran says:

    I’m sorry, but I’m really starting to like Teadora. She’s an excellent villain. No wonder Braeden is pining for his buddies.

  10. Lorien Lyn says:

    Oh, love the snappy dialogue exchange! It reminds me of Queen Cersei from Game of Thrones (big fan here). Nicely done! 😉

  11. ralfast says:

    Conceded much, isn’t she?

  12. pmillhouse says:

    I liked the tension. She’s wiry, that one.

  13. Sarah W says:

    Will someone please put this woman out of everyone else’s misery? o-O

    (Except not too quickly—I love to hate her!)

    • Christina says:

      Well, she IS making a lot of enemies. I think she’s fun to hate too, so I’ll keep her around for a bit. 🙂 She’ll make everyone miserable before this saga is done.

  14. This story is always so much fun to be able to continue reading! I quite like the empress because she’s so annoying 🙂 Excellent excerpt…

    • Christina says:

      I Just tried to imagine how someone might behave when there’s no one around who can tell them to cut it out. And also, she’s not too interested in being a nice person. 🙂

  15. Aheïla says:

    She’s quite something, isn’t she? She’s exactly the type of personality I can’t put up with.

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