Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 27- Kendryk

wewriwaIt’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-sentence snippets from their WIPs on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.

When we were last with Kendryk, he had just received word from the Empress that she would agree to have his favorite priest tried in neutral Isenwald. Although the trial was Kendryk’s idea, now that it’s going to happen he’s feeling panicky. Naturally, Gwynneth has a plan. There’s been some creative editing.

(Also, I need help with a title. More about that below the snippet.)

”I have an idea, but you might not like it.,” Gwynneth said, looking at him out of the corner of her eye.

“I won’t know how much I’ll dislike it until you tell me what it is.”

“What if Father Landrus escapes?”

“Now?”

“We can manage it in the next few days.”

“But he’s sure to be caught by someone like my uncle if he’s out there on his own.”

“Oh, he won’t go by himself. He could somehow end up on a ship to Norovaea where I know my father would welcome him.”

Previous snippets are here.

I need a title for this dang book! I’m nearly done editing and several beta readers are already looking at it, so it’s time. I also need a title for the series as a whole, which is based on the Reformation and Thirty Years War, if that helps. I have tentative titles for books 2-4:  Valley of the Shadow, Hammer of the Gods and Wrath of Nations, so something that fits with those would be great. I’m not wedded to those, so if you have another idea for a series, I’m all ears.

The blurb is below. I’ve never written anything like that before, so any suggestions are appreciated as well. Thanks so much in advance!

Young, handsome and popular, Prince Kendryk of Terragand has a beautiful young family and rules a prosperous, peaceful kingdom. But he is forced to risk it all when an enigmatic priest warns him of a coming apocalypse. To stop it, Kendryk must challenge the ruthless Empress Teodora, ruler of the far-flung and unstable Olvisyan Empire. Backed by his ambitious wife, Kendryk risks everything to see the truth prevail, and plunges the continent into a war that will go on for decades.
Conscience and faith, love and courage are tested on vast battlefields, in devastated countryside and palace corridors teeming with intrigue. This epic fantasy takes you to a world where loyalty and conviction are sacrificed to the pursuit of power while the light of knowledge struggles to break through an ancient shadow of fear and ignorance.

 

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30 comments on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 27- Kendryk
  1. calensariel says:

    That’s a great summary. I guess I hadn’t realized how much they would affect whether I bought a book or not. I’ll ponder, too. I like the other titles for the following books. And I really thought Kendryk would be too straight laced to spring Landrus from the pokey!

    • Christina says:

      Thanks! I feel like the language is way over the top and flowery, but I read a bunch of blurbs on Amazon and tried to pattern it after those. It all feels highly unnatural. 🙂

      Kendryk really is too straight-laced for just about anything fun, but he’s getting desperate. He’s got unresolved daddy issues which play into his relationship with Landrus and of course Gwynneth is always scheming. I bring up the daddy issues later, toward the middle, but maybe I need to drop a few hints sooner. I need to remember that just because I’ve worked all of this out in my head doesn’t mean I’ve actually written it down. 🙂

  2. daezarkian says:

    Terrific dialogue, Christina, this story keeps getting more and more intriguing.

    Title ideas:

    War of Light
    Prophecy
    Shadows & Light
    The Gathering of Storms

    Or not…best I could come up with off the top of my head. ;D

    • Christina says:

      Thank you!

      When it comes to titles, the top of your head is much better than my ruminating for hours. I hadn’t thought of the shadows and light angle, but I’m going to think about it.

  3. Marcia says:

    Engaging excerpt, even for me who has missed previous ones! The characters seem real, not cardboard or imitations of other authors’ characters.

    In keeping with that, I want to comment that your titles IMHO ought to stand out, too. I seriously stink at coming up with good titles, but I think you want something a little different than what’s already out there. Something that makes readers’ eyes linger on YOUR book, and makes them so curious they HAVE to pick it up.

    That’s a mouthful from somebody who can’t do it herself! But those are the things that draw me to books. Very best of luck to you!

    • Christina says:

      Thank you!

      When it comes to titles, I agree! That’s been the biggest problem so far- finding something that’s somewhat unique while still conveying the essence of the book. Every time I come up with something decent, I search it in Amazon and usually come up with fifty other books with the same name. It’s frustrating!

  4. Great dialogue and the relationship between the two is on the page. I’m curious to find out how Kendrick will respond to his wife’s somewhat daring suggestion;).
    I’m sorry, I’m not very good with titles, but I agree with Marcia, you need something a little unexpected so it stands out.
    Great 8 and good luck!

  5. How about Pursuit of Power?
    Love Gwendolyn’s idea. She can be counted for in an emergency.

  6. ralfast says:

    Another resourceful lady added to the list this fine Sunday.

  7. I just have a feeling there may be some pitfalls with Gwynneth’s plan…but I enjoyed the way she presented it to him! I’m terrible with titles myself so I’ll stay out of that discussion but certainly best wishes!

  8. caitlinstern says:

    Sounds like a risky plan. They better weigh the possible consequences before they make a decision.

    • Christina says:

      Well, Kendryk will want to consider all the angles before committing to anything. I’m sparing you the following lengthy conversation, since it can’t be summarized in 8 sentences. 🙂

  9. Sarah W says:

    That sounds like an excellent plan, which probably means it will fix everything . . . or go terribly, terribly wrong!

    I won’t even try suggesting any titles, since I’m terrible at it–good luck! 🙂

  10. Oh, that Gwynneth has her finger on the pulse of things… A wonderful scheme, well-written. 🙂

  11. katclark14 says:

    This was great to read, especially because I’m also struggling to develop a fantasy novel without adding too much of that bogged-down detail! Maybe making the language a little more fluid would help? Looking forward to reading more!

  12. Sounds like a dangerous plan. What if he doesn’t make it? Oh you’ve got me on edge. Great work!!!

  13. Aheïla says:

    I like the “what if” tone of the conversation. It really conveys how unsure she is about the plan. Whether she’s unsure about Kendryk’s acceptance or about the plan itself will be interesting to discover.

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