Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 17- Janna

wewriwaIt’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-sentence snippets from their WIPs on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.

I just realized that Janna’s story is still behind everyone else’s, chronologically. Gee, I wonder if it’s because I’ve rewritten her arc about four times? Anyway, she’s done her best to adapt to life in the country and resist attempts to marry her off to the icky Seko. She’s found that a good way to avoid him is to spend her days in the woods, looking for berries. City girl that she is, she can still identify a wild strawberry!  Her step-son Anton usually comes to get her in the evenings so there’s no chance of Seko finding her and “escorting” her back to the farm. One evening, they are heading back when they see an armed party approaching the farm. Anton is worried about his little sister who’s still in the farmhouse.

“They don’t have any reason to hurt a little girl, ” Janna said, trying to keep her voice from shaking. “They’ve probably just come to steal. Let’s sit here quietly until they’re gone.” But waiting was almost unbearable,and once the horsemen had passed they crept quietly through the bushes until they could see the farm.

“Mama,”Anton tugged urgently on her skirt just as she saw the red glow. “Mama, the house is on fire.”

He scrambled to stand up, but she grabbed his arm and didn’t let go, especially once the screaming started.  It seemed to go on forever, and finally Anton stopped struggling and rolled into her arms, trembling and wetting the front of her dress with tears.

Previous snippets are here.

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37 comments on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 17- Janna
  1. calensariel says:

    OMG! Really? Did you do that? Must be all those battles you’ve been caught up in… That was pretty instense.

  2. What a powerful scene, Christina. I can’t imagine… Wonderful 8!

  3. daezarkian says:

    Wow, great tension and detail! Beautifully done, Christina!

  4. Oh no, you can’t leave it off here D: What happens to his sister? You did a good job handling some difficult emotions here. It’s hard to convey sorrow and anger without it coming off as melodramatic (something I’m often guilty of XD). I’m a bit confused about their relationships to each other. Anton is her step-son, but she’s single (implied by Seko’s wooing) so she was married to a guy with kids and he died?

  5. Frank Fisher says:

    Oh my! I’m really concerned for Anton’s sister. He was right to suspect that army. Very good upping the tension in this. 😀

  6. Extremely tragic in a quiet, effective way.Excellent excerpt, if grim (but war is always grim, yes? So you’ve portrayed it well.)

  7. Millie Burns says:

    Oh my goodness. This is so stressful for a mom to read…poor baby girl. Poor big brother. Poor momma. Well done at tugging on the heartstrings.

  8. Sarah W says:

    I’m still hoping that the little girl survived (Or do I? The soldiers might not be the better option . . . ), but perhaps not Seko.

    Why burn the farm, though? Because they could?

    I have so many questions and so much need to read more of this to find out! You’ve hooked me good, Christina. 😀

  9. Excellent snippet. So well written.

  10. Lorien Lyn says:

    Oh no, what an emotional and scary scene. Hope his sister got out safely. Great job on the snippet!

  11. Oh no the house! Oh my goodness I’m so into this story. Great eight. Hope everyone gets out okay.

  12. Suzie Quint says:

    Oh, how traumatic. Very well written.

  13. Alexis Duran says:

    Great scene! Not knowing where the little girl is adds to the tension and makes me feel for Janna, who has to stay hidden. Nicely done.

  14. Intense and emotional. Powerful writing (and yes, GRRM would probably love it;).

  15. caitlinstern says:

    Poor Janna. “Don’t have a reason to” doesn’t mean they won’t hurt anyone. For some, destruction is its own reward…

    (It it wrong of me to hope Seko got killed somehow?)

  16. Karen Michelle Nutt says:

    What a heart-wrenching scene!

  17. OMG Christina you can’t do that to me!!! NO! Need to know NOW!

    Seriously though, I hope this gets at least somewhat resolved next week. *points finger accusingly* Thanks for sharing!

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