Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 14- Janna

Ok, Missouri is officially The Worst Internet State, worse even than Wyoming or North Dakota, where no one lives. This is one of the downsides of the rolling lifestyle- I might go whole hours (in this case, a half day) without 3/4G signal.That’s what I get for not scheduling posts in advance.

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It’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-sentence snippets from their WIPs on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.

After some tribulation, Janna has made it to her husband’s relatives in the country. The farm is very far from idyllic. Dimir’s ancient aunt and uncle, their two sons, a daughter-in-law and baby are packed into a farmhouse with the livestock and the relatives make no secret of the fact that they resent having extra mouths to feed. The single son-Seko- is so creepy he hasn’t found a woman who’ll marry him voluntarily, but luckily Janna just showed up on their doorstep.

“It’s time you were thinking of marriage,” Bora said, puffing on his pipe.

“Marriage?” Janna gasped. “I don’t know what’s become of Dimir, and even if he’s dead, it’s not seemly for me to remarry so soon.”

“Oh, he’s dead all right,” Seko said with a nasty grin. “A messenger came through town last night, and said there was a big to-do in Kaleva the other day with all the rebel leaders hanged, including our Dimir.”

“Oh, Holy Mother,” Janna said, and burst into tears.

“Pfft, don’t carry on so,” Bora said, blowing a smoke ring. “An old fellow like our Dimir was; you should be happy you’ll get a nice young one soon, and maybe have babies of your own.”

Previous snippets are here.

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17 comments on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 14- Janna
  1. elainecsc2013 says:

    A great example of what not to say. You did a great job capturing the personality of these people.

  2. Sarah W says:

    What a lovely family Dimir has, to be sure. 😛

    This is a terrific (if slightly slimy) snippet, Christina. 🙂

  3. Such unique personalities. I really don’t like that guy, and I wonder what his motivation is–is he telling her the truth, or is he lying. Hmm… Good 8, Christina. Sorry about your internet situation. Hope next week goes better. 🙂

    • Thank you! Poor Janna keeps going from frying pan into fire and back, but such is her lot, at least for now.

      We’re now in the Southeastern portion of the country, so I’m optimistic as to my internet prospects. :=)

  4. calensariel says:

    I thought it was very revealing when it comes to his family. They sound like a bunch of LOSERS. The only thing, the “to-do” stuck out to me as being a way too modern expression. It stopped me reading like a hiccup. Is there a different word you could use? Just my opinion.

    • Yeah, it looks like poor old Dimir might have been the best of that bunch.

      You’re right about “to-do” being a bit jarring. I’ll have to find something else. I spend a lot of my time these days, looking for words that sound too modern and replacing them with ones that sound old, but not TOO old. Fun! 🙂

  5. Wow, talk about a close and loving family;). I hope Jenna makes it. Great 8.

  6. caitlinstern says:

    Eww, he sounds like a real prize for a second husband. But the poor girl is stuck, isn’t she?

  7. Oh wow this is getting really interesting. I’m in. Is this out already? I have to read this book! LOL!

  8. Evelyn Jules says:

    Oh wow, they certainly don’t pull any punches. lol. Awesome dialogue, Christina. Can’t wait to learn more about the characters!

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