Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 10- Braeden

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It’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-sentence snippets from their WIPs on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.

Last week, we left Braeden with a mysterious woman unconscious at his feet. This was not because she swooned over his burly manliness, though I would hardly blame anyone for doing so. She in fact sustained a smack to the head with a war hammer- a blow that would have killed a mere mortal. In the meantime, Braeden is reading the riot act to one of her henchmen, telling him he had no authority to operate in the area.

“We had every authority.” She suddenly stood toe-to-toe with him, something no one had dared since he was fourteen.

Braeden looked straight into eyes which at first appeared black, but pulsed yellow every few seconds. Torresia was right. It had to be Daciana Tomescu, and Braeden was no longer sure if the stories about her were mere superstition.

“Hand over your orders,” Braeden somehow kept his voice calm and finally dragged his gaze away from her eyes, which he quickly regretted when she  grinned widely, revealing sharp incisors, long as a wolf’s fangs.

“I will not,” she said, her awful eyes turning very black.  “I receive my orders directly from Teodora Inferrara and she is never foolish enough to put them in writing.”

Previous snippets can be read here, and I’ve also gone public with the first part of the prologue.

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34 Comments on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 10- Braeden

    • Oh good- that at least is how i want Braeden to come across. My other male pov- Kendryk- is not quite so masculine. I’m struggling a bit with my female pov’s. For some reason, it’s always easier for me to write male characters.

      • In the war strategy stuff you’ve been reading, has any of it been from a female perspective? Are you looking for female warriors? If so, how about the mythological Amazonian women? In the culture you’re writing about are the women generally warriors, too? Not damsel-in-distress types? What is Teodora like?

        • I’ve been trying to stick to early modern European culture for the most part, and finding good info about the role of women in anything has been challenging. Women did play a vital support role in the military, just not as warriors. It was customary for soldiers to bring their families on campaign with them, so there were often more women and children than there were soldiers in any given army.

          I’ve modified the religion and society a bit to make female warriors possible, so I’ve got a few as secondary characters. Teodora has a military background and commands her army in the field at least some of the time. Gwynneth is not a warrior but has a significant amount of political power. Janna starts out as a damsel in distress, but part of that is what I hope will be a realistic portrayal of what it was like to be a refugee in those times.

          It’s challenging to keep it “realistic” in the sense that readers recognize the time and place in general without letting the women fall into stereotypical roles.

  1. Love your descriptions in this excerpt–from the changing colours of her eyes to the wolf-like incisors. Particularly enjoyed this line: “I receive my orders directly from Teodora Inferrara and she is never foolish enough to put them in writing.” Awesome work, Christina!

  2. Wonderful imagery. Love the description of the the woman’s eyes and teeth. My-oh-my! Great snippet.

  3. I love this character. I wonder what Braeden is going to do with her. After getting her description, I feel that romance isn’t an option! From what I’ve read of the era, women’s power might not have been recognized, but they definitely were movers and shakers behind the scenes. I’m really looking forward to reading this novel.

    • I think she’s a bit too scary, even for Braeden. 🙂 I’ve taken some liberties with the time period- the advantage of making it fantasy!- so the women have a bit more power and options than they would have in reality. It’s just more fun that way.

  4. Very strong writing and vivid imagery. And like the others have said, you capture the masculine point of view very well. I look forward to reading more… Although she sounds kinda scary!

  5. Nothing in writing. Faith, trust, or a battle? Agree with Tina. Great tension as these two go head to head. In only 8 we can see these two get up in each others face and everyone in that world (and the reader in this one) on pins and needles as to what’s going to happen next. Good job!

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