Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 5- Braeden
Welcome to another round of Weekend Writing Warriors. Every Sunday, we share 8-sentence snippets of our works in process on our blogs, then “visit” each other to read, comment and encourage. I’ve been doing the unimaginative thing and presenting one snippet from each chapter each week.
Last week, we left Janna getting ready to flee the beleaguered city of Kaleva. While she leaves out one gate, Braeden- a mercenary fighting for the Empress- is coming in another. For all of you worried about Dimir’s fate after last week- I’m sorry! Somewhat creatively punctuated.
Who’s the leader here?” Braeden asked, pulling his helmet off.
“I seem to be all that’s left,” a tall, lanky fellow with graying hair stepped forward- he had blood streaming from a wound in his left arm.”My name is Dimir Kronek; do you want me to surrender?”
“No need.” Braeden beckoned a young officer forward and said, “Bind up Master Kronek’s arm; I’d rather he not bleed to death.”
“So you can kill me later?” Kronek’s harsh laugh ended in a cough.
“Won’t be me,” Braeden said, “I’m not a hangman, which is what you’ll get after your trial.”
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Oh–you pulled me in. Poor Dimir! The “hangman” is a good choice here. Conjures emotions along with an image of a hooded man–sort of grim reaper-ish. Nicely done! .
At first, I was using “executioner,” but that didn’t seem like the kind of word Braeden would use. I think “hangman” is much grimmer overall. When in doubt, go with grim.:-)
Great dialogue. Braeden seems very civilized for a mercenary. You’ve created so many interesting characters- I can’t wait to see how it all weaves together.
He’s managed to pick up a few manners along the way. That was actually something I learned in my research. A lot of mercenary officers made some effort to be cultured- maybe trying to change the bad rep mercenaries had. Made for some interesting characters!
Making all of these disparate people come together in a logical way is much harder than I thought it would be!
I’m happy he survived at least one more week! Good luck, Dimir!!
If I were Dimir, I’d want to be killed now. Facing a hangman would be a little gruesome. Engaging dialogue throughout.
Yeah, in Dimir’s place, I’d be wishing I were already dead, poor guy. Thanks for reading!
Well, I’m guessing he did something to earn that hanging–which, done properly, is quicker than bleeding to death.
Now that’s the spirit! He’s a failed revolutionary, and if you fail, you usually die.
so a show trial is in order?
Nothing like pretend justice to calm everybody down. 🙂
Oooh, I love the last line. I was drawn right in, and I happen to love the name Braeden. Can’t wait for more.
Thanks so much! I love the name Braeden too, so much that I kept it for the character, even though is no longer really fits unless I give him a convoluted backstory. 🙂