Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 3- Gwynneth
It’s time for another round of Weekend Writing Warriors! I’ve been having a blast with this, and discovering all kinds of great writers, eight sentences at a time.
Here’s the next part of my WIP. Last week’s snippet saw Prince Kendryk on the verge of an altercation with his uncle, the grumpy Duke. Kendryk’s put the Duke in his place for now, but next he has to decide what he’s going to do about Landrus, the priestly troublemaker. In Chapter two, he’s discussing the matter with his wife- Gwynneth- who’s excited about the possibilities, and his mother-Rikarda- who is somewhat less thrilled.
“Landrus has only brought into the open what many have have been wondering about for years, and we all agree that the Temple is in need of reform,” Gwynneth said.
Rikarda took a sip of her wine. “That may be true, but Landrus is only a priest, and a commoner, so he won’t get far.”
“I agree,” Gwynneth said, “and that’s why Kendryk should be the one to challenge the Temple.” She smiled at Kendryk’s look of mild alarm.
“Oh heavens no!” Rikarda shook her head, her gray curls bouncing. “You will anger Livilla Maxima, who has Empress Teodora’s ear, and we already know that Teodora is violent and unpredictable. I’ve always said they should never have let that side of the family inherit the throne.”
Previous snippets are here:
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I like Rikarda stepping in and opposing. I wonder who should inherit the throne, then? Nicely crafted snippet!
Thank you!
It’s a nice excerpt, not overdone with dialog or gestures. You keep the scene focused on what’s being said which I think lends it more drama. Good job with that!
But, as a moderator, I have to mention that I count 12 sentences. We do need everybody to stick to 8, to keep the blog hop fair for all participants. If you could keep that in mind for future excerpts we’d sure appreciate it. Thanks, Christina!
Thank you!
Sorry about the overflow. I counted, then did some cutting and pasting, and some more pasting, it seems. I’ll make the necessary adjustments. 🙂
Great dialogue. You tell us so much in a very natural way. I like how Kendryk is reacting with “mild alarm.” Very nice snippet.
Thank you! Poor Kendryk is soon going to have a lot more to be alarmed about!
Nice conflict in dialogue.
All I can say, is very Hot!
Juneta at Writer’s Gambit
Thank you!
I enjoyed this little interchange. Looking forward to reading more.
Thank you!
Complicated politics they’re dealing with, which always makes for a good story. Great 8!
Thank you! I’ve been trying to simplify the actual politics of the time, which means it’s still way too complicated.
Hmm. If “Empress Teodora” is analogous to the Byzantine Empress, that puts this sometime way too early for the Protestant-Catholic schism. Is this an earlier one?
This Teodora is more like a female Ferdinand II, though I’m chronologically all over the place. The “Catholic” religion in this story has developed a bit differently and originated with Byzantine empress Teodora. That’s why the ruling family likes using Greek names. 🙂
Very nice dialogue! I like the world from what I can see with the prologue and 1st chapter too!!
This is an interesting exchange of dialogue 🙂 I had to read the previous two snippets to get into the story. At this point I’m not sure if Landrus is a good or bad guy. Maybe both? It seems like the Duke is bad. Talk about family problems XD The royalty had plenty and from what I remember, they didn’t have a hard time killing someone if they thought they were a thread. You did a good job with the nuances of dialogue here, which is tough, like this line, “‘Oh heavens no!’ Rikarda shook her head, her gray curls bouncing.” It gave me a clear picture of the scene and helped me envision the characters. Looking forward to hearing what happens to Landrus 😀
Thanks! Landrus isn’t exactly a bad guy, but he does end up causing a lot of grief, just due to sheer stubbornness. You’re right about the family feelings of royalty- made for some interesting stories! Thanks so much for the specific feedback!
No matter the era, moms step in to keep their children out of harm’s way. 🙂 Very fluid writing, Christina. 🙂
Or at least they try! Thanks for stopping by!